Why is it important to be with friends and family on their important days?

Everybody is so busy these days that no one has time to talk to anyone except maybe with a parent or a sibling on a daily basis.  We may talk to some friends on a regular basis, but trying to schedule a get together with a bunch of friends takes the skill of a master strategist. The reality of life is that in this age of nuclear and working families, everyone has to be self-reliant in every way possible. All this takes time and effort and by the end of the day, despite wanting to, one is too tired to meet up with people that they would really like to.

But when its an important day for your loved ones, the importance of your presence with them cannot be understated. This is the test of the strength of your relationship with them; for it is only during our happiest and saddest moments that we need others the most. We may undermine ourselves and wonder what we can do alone, but as Andy Warhol, the famous American artist said, “But I always say, one’s a company, two’s a crowd, and three’s a party”.  So go and be there for your friends and family. A strong relationship will get stronger and not so strong one will gain strength. A strong relationship is necessary to be happy. People who have one or more close friendships appear to be happier than those who primarily engage in superficial chit-chat with a multitude of friends. Research has also corroborated this finding. In 2002, two pioneers of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of personal happiness. They found that the most salient characteristics shared by students who were very happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.” (“The New Science of Happiness,” Claudia Wallis, Time Magazine, Jan. 09, 2005).  So being there for your friends and family on their important days is beneficial for you as well.

The important and special days vary for different people but generally can run the entire gamut from happy occasions such as birth of a child, graduation, birthday parties, moving to a new place, house warming parties and weddings to sad occasions such as sickness, loss of a family member, loss of job, cremations, and many in between.

For these important days, make every effort to be with your loved ones, even if it involves traveling a distance. For while it may be an inconvenience for you for a couple of days, for them it will be warmth and support that will forever be etched in their memory. If you are really stretched for time and have conflicting commitments and have to pick between being there for the happy occasions or the sad ones, pick the sad ones. But also know that no happiness is complete if there is no one to share it with.

So be with your loved ones on their special and important days. The icing on the cake will be that you will also have people sharing your joys and sorrows. And nothing can be better than that.

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